Farewell, Fear

You have lingered long enough to feel
as if you are a part of every waking moment.
If not for words and naming a certain thing,
I would not have noticed that
you have been invading through the depths of my core.
You have been crippling in the most joyful moments of life,
ruining the precious moments that are yet passing.
You made your way even through the most mundane moments
where you are not even welcome as a visitor,
but I, have let you in.

Unconsciously,
unintentionally,
you were not just in, but I was you itself.

I have set up prison cells without knowing that you are the barriers.
I have trapped myself inside not knowing how to escape.
Yet, all along I have the keys in my hands,
yet, I have never noticed them.
For my eyes were fixed on you, I was paralyzed.

You took my mind for a ride,
From the sanest probabilities to the most insane,
From the possible to the impossible,
From hopeful to hopelessness,
From the fullest of life to death.
And there I found myself dying and you caused it.

FEAR.
Now, I have named you.

I bid you farewell for you are not welcome.
For you will never take me to my destination.
In fact, you are slowly taking a toll on my destiny.
I bid you goodbye because I can never be mastered by you anymore.
Every waking moment does not have to be filled
with thoughts of you but instead of the beautiful mercies that mornings bring.

You are not worth keeping because you break loose
every thought that should've never been present in the first place.
You are not needed because what the heart wants is love and never you.
For love can never be born out of you.
Instead, Perfect Love will drive you out.

Farewell, fear.
You are never welcome again.

Make your way, Love
I will let the peace you bring reign.

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Yanisce Ferrer

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Madalas, Hindi Kita Maintindihan

Siguro nga ay hindi magkatulad kung paano natin makita ang bawat bagay dito sa mundo.

Maraming dahilan ng hindi pagkakaintindihan sa panahon ngayon at hindi madaling gawan ng paraan upang maipaintindi ang mga bagay na hindi mapagkasunduan. Hindi mo mapipilit ang taong maintindihan ka kung hindi ka niya gustong intindihin. At ang mas masakit pa doon, mas iniintindi pa niya ang sinsabi ng iba.

Minsan ganyan tayo, eh. 

Mali pala.

Minsan, o madalas, ganyan ako Sa'yo.

Madalas hindi Kita maintindihan kasi ayaw kitang intindihin.

Hindi kasi lahat ng gusto ko ay akma sa gusto Mo.

Bakit ba kasi parang ang hirap naman ng bawat daan na dapat kong tahakin sa lahat ng gusto Mo para saakin?

Para bang kailangan ko munang bumagsak, masugatan, umiyak para lang mapagtagumpayan ang daang tinahak ko papunta sa gusto Mo.

Hindi ko kasi madalas maintindihan kung bakit ba hindi tayo parehas ng gusto.

Maganda naman ang mga plano ko, ngunit sabi Mo 'di hamak mas maganda ang Sa'yo.

Ngunit bakit nga ba hindi ko makita ang ganda ng mga balak Mo?

Bakit nga ba ayaw kong intindihin ang mga sinasabi Mo?

Siguro dahil nakatingin ako sa mga kaya kong gawin imbis na nakatingin dapat ako sa kaya Mong gawin na hindi ko kailanma'y kaya.

Hindi kita maintindihan kasi siguro hindi kita inuuna at iniintindi ng hindi ko namamalayan.

At hindi lang iyon, mas madalas kaysa intindihin Kita, mas iniintindi ko pa ang sisnabi ng iba. Eh bakit nga ba? 

Madalas kasi may mga bagay akong hindi gustong madinig dahil masasaktan lang ako. At may mga taong sadyang pinipili ang kanilang bawat salita para maiwasan na ang damdamin ko ay masaktan.

Mas iniintindi ko pa ang tingin at sinsabi ng iba saakin dahil pakiramdam ko mawawalan ako ng kaibigan pag mas pinili ko ang madalas na di ko naman maintindihan na mga sinsabi Mo. 

Dagdag pa doon ang pangungutsya ng iba pag hindi naayon sa batayan nila ng "maganda" ang ginawa ko. 

Aba, teka. Ano nga ba ang maganda? Madalas nalilito na ako. 

Dala ng takot at pangamba na hindi ako sigurado sa gusto Mo, mas madalas iba ang pinakikinggan ko. 

Pero lagi Mong pinapaalala sa akin,

"Bakit ka ba puno ng mga bakit?"

"Bakit laging nalang nangingibabaw ang sakit?"

"Bakit ba pilit mong iniintindi ang lahat?"

"Bakit ba hindi na lang Ako at ang aking mensahe sa'yo ang intindihin mo?"

"Bakit ba madalas kang makalimot, at sa lahat ng kakalimutan mo, Ako pa?"

Tuwing pinapaalala mo saakin kung Sino ka, mas lumilinaw saakin na kung gaano tayo magkaiba. Yung pagkakaiba na hindi ko dapat katakutan, kainisan o ikabahala. Dahil ang pagakakaiba na yun ang daan patungo sa kabutihan. Daan patungo sa mga pangako Mo. Daan kung saan hindi man masagot lahat ng bakit, kung saan nararamdaman pa rin ng sakit, may kasiguraduhan na kasama Kita.

At hindi man kita madalas maintindihan titingin ako sa langit, mananalangin, mananalig na balang araw hindi ko na kailangan pang maintindihan pa. Hindi na kailangan na masagot pa lahat ng katanungan. Balewala na ang lahat ng mga sagot ka katanungan, kasi Ikaw lang naman, Ikaw lang talaga ang sagot sa lahat ng katanungan na meron ako.

Kaya ang pananlangin ko, bigyan mo ako ng mata at ng isip na tulad Sayo nang makita ko ang nakikita Mo - ang mabuti, kaayaaya, at kalugud-lugod Mong Kalooban.

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Yanisce Ferrer

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Loving Doesn't Mean We Always Have To Agree

This world has allowed confusion to be a part of our every day lives.Words and its meanings have been twisted, and this allowed communication and expression of emotions to be misleading, and eventually misunderstood.

Today, love has been tagged with different meanings and ways of expression, like love is sex, love is pleasing people no matter what it may cost and many more. Hate, at the same time, has been given so much words to vividly express the intensity of the emotion. Swear words becomes a norm, and more often beautified.  The immensity of words that comes along with these two feelings has lead us into a very confusing way to express not just our emotions, but as well as our opinions.

There are so many controversial issues that we are so eager to express our opinions and emotions to, but because we let our emotions leads us first, what comes out of our mouths are not edifying. Rick Warren says,

“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear them or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate or “loving,”.”

Loving doesn’t mean we always have to agree with people. Disagreeing doesn’t mean we have to hate the persons stating their opinion. And the question we frequently ask is, how do we deal with this? Where is the in-between in this situation, most especially when we want to make a bold statement concerning our faith?

The Bible is very clear about love. In  Matthew 22:36, Jesus clearly states that loving our neighbors is the second greatest commandment. The Bible is also clear about sin, Romans 6:23 says that, “the wages of sin is death.” God cannot stand sin because He is a Holy God. At the same time, God is loving that He cannot let it go unpunished. 

“Hate the sin, love the sinner”

We have heard of this so many times, but have we really gotten the sense of this statement? Not because we love the sinner, we are to tolerate their bad behavior. Loving doesn’t require us to agree with their actions, but we are responsible to speak the truth in love to them, because love rejoices with the truth. Loving people is speaking life to them instead of condemning them. They may be sinning but they do not deserve our harsh remarks that can scar their soul forever.

If we hate the sin and we disagree with their opinions, this does not entitle us to hate on people. Disagreeing shouldn’t be synonymous with hating, for we can always disagree without hating. Hate is a strong emotion that can cause strife and anger towards others. Disagreeing with people can be summed up to, “I disagree with you and your opinions, but I respect you.”

“Love covers up all wrongs.” 

Loving people does not need to compromise the right thing for it to be fully expressed. Loving people can also be expressed in proper disagreement–with respect. Loving does not mean that sin should be overlooked for compassion to be expressed, rather, sin should be addressed to show compassion.  Love is unconditional, so rather than bashing people for their wrong behavior, speak the truth in love to them. Disagreement should not lead to hatred, but it should  lead to fruitful discussions of breaking wrong mindsets and respecting everyone’s opinions. Love is not always sweet and cute, it is also painful and true.

Jesus has called us to love others but we can only do that if we have experienced how truly it is to be loved by God.  By His overflowing grace, we are able to love just as how He loves us.

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Yanisce Ferrer

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Letting Go And Letting You

Today, I have decided to open my hand.
To let go of something I have been holding on to.
I am now untieing the strings
that so easily entangles my heart
from all the hurt and the sorrow that I have.
I am now surrendering every desire
to the One that my heart should desire now, and forever.

I am deciding to choose the unpopular decision.

I am choosing to let go of my desires,
And allow my heart to desire what is eternal.
I am choosing to not be motivated by selfish impulses,
And allow all the selfishness be covered with selflessness.
I am deciding to stop manipulating situations and people,
Consciously or unconsciously, intentional or not.
For I am not solely in control of this trek.

To the Captain of this journey
And the Wheelman of this ship,
Here it is.
Clasp on the reel and hound the quest,
The wheel is yours to take.
For I don't want this journey to end in a shipwreck.
I would rather trust the unknown than regret the latter.

For my heart will rest joyfully knowing
That it is not me,
Or my hands,
Or my crazy tactics,
That manipulated it all.
To the Author and Perfecter of every story,
Here's the pen,
Here is my hand,
Here are my desires,
Take it and I will let You be You.
I will let you write every line of the whole story.

I can choose to be in control,
To steer the wheel and take this journey
To where I wish it to go.
But the revelation of my imperfections and my incompetence,
Allows me to recognize that You should be in control.
The unanswered questions and the what if's
Maybe as vast as the ocean
As the journey goes along.
But I will rest more calmly because
There maybe more questions than answers,
There may be more uncertainities than clarity,
But this is the decision I will never regret;
Choosing the One Certain thing in this world.
That is You,
and Your will,
To reign over me and over it all.

Today, I am letting go and I am letting You.

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Yanisce Ferrer

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Lessons of 2016 to bring in 2017

2016 has been an extraordinary experience.

At the beginning of the year, God promised to bring about new things (as He always does). As faithful as He is, He did bring in new things, people and experiences. All these are amazing testimonies of His love and faithfulness.

Indeed, lessons in life come in different shapes and sizes. Here are a few that sums the beautiful lessons of 2016, that we can all can carry with us (PS: This is not everything, it will take me forever write this if I wrote everything and some specific details). These lessons will also help us look forward to 2017 with great anticipation that God is God who constantly wants us to grow and mature in our relationship with Him.

LORDSHIP
100% surrender. Lordship is not a one time thing, but a day by day experience of humbling one's self. It is complete, no holding back, an all or nothing decision. Lordship is the total surrender of ALL aspects of our life, not some but ALL. There may be times that we do not realize that some aspects of our lives are not fully surrendered, so let us always ask Jesus to open our eyes. Let us humble ourselves daily and surrender everything at the foot of the Cross.

OBEDIENCE
We obey because we love. We are compelled to obey because of the love of Jesus for us and our love for Jesus. Obedience always bring about blessings, but more than that, obedience brings about experiencing God in a whole different level. Just like Lordship, obedience must be full. Never partial. Always abrupt. Never delayed.

There will come a time that we may not feel like obeying, but at those times, remember that Jesus saw that there was a great inheritance when you obey.

GRATEFULNESS
Having a grateful heart is not exclusive in the good things that is happening in our lives, but gratefulness is fully tested in the bad times. An attitude that we should all carry out in our hearts. Any doubt, fear, and stress may be cured by having a grateful heart. Being grateful is also acknowledging that God is in control of our situation, good or bad, He remains faithful.

We may be tempted to compare or ask for what we do not have at the moment, but remember that the Lord is our Shepherd, we shall not be in want because we have everything that we will ever need-- God Himself.

PURITY
Emotionally. Physically. In Actions & Motives. The Bible says, blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. I've always prayed to see God in all aspects and in every situation. Resolving to be pure is not easy, but it is definitely worth it. Purity is definitely not an overnight transformation, but choice done day by day. Towards Christ likeness is always the goal, and purity is a must. I have not perfected it, but resolving to be pure is always a great choice.

This may not be a popular choice at this time of age, but choose and resolve to be pure for You shall see God.

WAITING PATIENTLY
In times where all you have to do is wait, are the times where you will know if your trust is completely with God. Anxiety will always kick in when we are anticipating for something that is good. And when anxiety gets in its way, we tend to make a god out of ourselves, manipulating people and things just to get what we want. But, no. Everything is beautiful in His time for His will is ALWAYS good, pleasing and perfect.

Whenever we are tempted to skip the process of waiting and we are already being impatient, remember that God Himself is patient. He is patient with you, with all of us. Remember that He will come, He will.

FORGIVENESS
Just like love, forgiveness is a decision. Forgiveness is not only given to others, but to our selves as well. Forgiveness sets us free from the shackles of bitterness and resentment. It frees you more than it frees the other person. Choose to forgive, choose to do so--every single day.

And if we find fault in others or people have offended us, remember how Jesus has forgiven you and I no matter how big our sin is. We are forgiven and free. Forgive an you will be free.

As we anticipate what  2017 has in store for us, let us remember that no matter what we will face, God is God. He will be whatever He ought to be for you in times of crisis. He will be your ever present Help, your great Provider, your Prince of Peace and more. All it takes is to trust God and have a faith that knows that He is sovereign over all.

Let us continue growing in our relationship with God and with the people around us. 2016 has been a great journey! Looking forward for you, 2017! Excited to get to know you more on 2017, God!

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Yanisce Ferrer

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Boundaries Come With A Delightful Inheritance

Boundaries. Limitations.

These words may seem very ponderous for most of us because they feel restrictive. These very words are what we often neglect because we think that we cannot groove in with what the world has to offer.  


Boundaries are signals of constraints and endings, only if we look at it that way. In a brighter perspective, they are a blessing of security to our inheritance. 



“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” (Psalm‬ ‭16:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬)


Coming across this verse again after a very long time, came at a time when I needed it the most. That time when I began questioning the boundaries that I've resolved-- to remain pure and holy before Him. That time when waiting seems daunting and pointless. When obedience does not feel like it's still done in love. 


Then it hit me.

Boundaries are not meant to restrict us, they are meant to secure us with the blessing and the will of God for our lives. But with God's unconditional love for us, He still allows us to choose which way to take in life, whether it be the path with boundaries in line or the path. As the Bible says, "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial" . We may choose any of the things out of the boundary lines, but it may not be beneficial for you.

When God begins to set up boundaries and limitations in our lives, we can always remind ourselves that He is not trying to be restrictive. He is only trying to keep our gaze fixed on His will and purpose in our lives. This is how we can regard boundaries as something pleasant; our sovereign God wants to lead us to the path of His good, pleasing, and perfect will.


It is beautiful to see that, He did not ask to just merely look at boundaries as pleasant but He gave a promise alongside with it -- a delightful inheritance.


David, who authored this Psalm, is the youngest of many sons in his family. In their time, younger children would not expect to receive a greater portion of inheritance. David was in that situation, but it was not an issue to him. Why is that so?


Because God Himself is the portion of his inheritance. 


He understood that the promise given by God in Numbers 18:20, "I am your portion and your inheritance..." is not limited to the priests in the time of Moses, but applicable to him as well. 

With all the hardships that David is facing in his life, he was secured of his inheritance because it is something not perishable. It is not the riches of this world, or the land of his father, but it was God Himself. Charles Spurgeon puts it this way,


"David believed in an overruling destiny which fixed the bounds of his abode, and his possessions; he did more, he was satisfied with all the appointment of the predestination." 


God is the portion of his inheritance, and that was more than enough. He is more than enough.
 Then I fully understood the importance of giving so much importance on delighting in His Word and obeying His commands. The more we get to know Him through His Word, the more we will understand the need to obey His commands. It will not be hard for us to look at boundaries the way God looks at it when we understand God's Will for our life. By then, obedience will be a delight and that it will also lead into pleasant places.


Delighting ourselves in the greatest inheritance that we can ever have leads us to being secured to His plan and purpose for our life. Waiting will not feel pointless anymore. Resolving to be pure and holy before Him will never be something to question. Boundaries will never feel restricting anymore, but it will be a security of a delightful inheritance ahead.

Indeed, we are to delight ourselves in the Lord first. We are to be satisfied of Him being the sole delight of our hearts. The restrictions bound before us at a certain season in our life will never be a limitation for us in receiving the delightful inheritance He has set before us. They are all pleasant for it was purchased by the blood of Jesus on the cross.

Jesus obeyed His Father's command to die on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins, because Jesus was fully aware that His obedience will lead into pleasant places. Let us then see the boundaries set before us at this season of our life as something pleasant, rather than a restriction. Because as promised, He will give us the desires of our hearts (those of which that are aligned in His will) -- in His perfect and beautiful timing.

You, yes you. Whatever you are going through right now. You may be feeling discouraged because the promise of pleasant places that comes with obedience is not visible yet. I encourage you to take a step of faith in obeying God, no matter how crazy it may seem. Obey because You love Him, and with obedience you will get to know Him more. And with obedience comes a promise that is delightful.

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Yanisce Ferrer

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For Now, I Will Write To You-- In Secret

I found my self having so much fondness
In the beauty of your soul,
That strangers are yet to stumble upon.
Yet to disclose such fondness
Is not profitable...
To you, or me, or us--
But just for now.

Until then,
I will write about you in secret.
I will unbosom you in the hearts of strangers,
Through songs that you've never heard of.
Through words whispered that will linger
To people I've known that you've never have accosted with.
I will write about you without the intention of disclosing
My hearts enthrallment to the beauty of your soul.
My writing will show a spectacle of your pulchritude,
But you will never know.
Or maybe, someday you will.

I will never let you know,
Until the time is right.
I will never let you know,
Until the One who truly authored
Our story yet untold tells us,
"It's time."
Until then,
I will write to you.
I will write about you.
In secret, with discretion,
Knowing that maybe someday
I will get the chance to tell you,
To let you know,
To Read to you, to sing to you
Everything I have secretly written about you.
Until then,
I will write about you
While I let Him write about
What could possibly be "us".
That maybe someday maybe,
Just maybe, there could be.

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Yanisce Ferrer

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